Thursday, December 13, 2012

365 Photo Project :: day 295 december 13 :: Letters to Sabrina

Dear Sabrina...all the things that remind me of you.

the letter S

My Sabrina, every time I see the letter S, I think of you, and now Sophia too.  One letter holds both the loss and hope of life. 

When I was pregnant with you, Ethan really hoped you would be a boy and Abbey hoped for a girl.  At the hospital, when he saw you, the first thing he said to me was, "Mommy, I didn't want a dead-baby girl!  I wanted a dead-baby BOY!"  Only when the reality of your death and the loss of a sister settled, his resolve changed.  

With my new pregnancy he wished for a girl with all of his little three year old heart.  When we found out that I was indeed having a girl, we were all overjoyed.  Ethan was thrilled...he said, "Mommy, it's Sabrina!"  He thought that you had come to us again.  It was hard to explain to him that you would never come to us, but that one day we would see you again in heaven.  

Having a girl for us it made the pain a little less.  Our new baby would never replace you, but she would bring some healing to our broken hearts, and oh so much joy.  

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