Wednesday, December 19, 2012

365 Photo Project :: day 297 december 15 :: Letters to Sabrina

Dear Sabrina...all the things that remind me of you.

dear friends from Bellingham

We were new to Portland that year.  We arrived in January with the grey rainy winter days.   Then spring brought the most lovely white and pink blossoms and news of you.  

What a surprise, a beautiful sweet surprise.  We were just a few months away from trying for you and there you were.  I was giddy with the news and gave your Daddy a secret smile on Mother's Day.  

Our first year in Portland was lonely, and that loneliness grew when you left, each year a little more.

There were so many things I didn't want to think about after you were gone and decisions to make.  Decisions I never thought I would have to make, like how to say good-bye.  

We decided on a simple graveside ceremony with a few dear friends and family.  We invited our community from Bellingham and they said yes...yes they would be with us to say good-bye.  With joy they welcomed Abigail and Ethan into the world and with tears they would see you depart.  

Knowing we would be surrounded by friends gave us strength.  A strength I did not have on my own.  And then flooding waters covered the highways between Bellingham and Portland and I felt as though I were drowning.  Our hearts dropped and we cried out, "God, how can we face this alone.  Please make a way."    

Our hearts hurt.  There was nothing we could do but pray and trust God.  Trust him in all things, even in saying goodbye.

The morning of the memorial I awoke with a strength that was not my own.  I read and cuddled with Abigail and Ethan.  My sister arranged flowers and Abraham announced that the roads were clear and friends were coming.  Smiles spread across our faces even though our hearts felt such sadness.  We would not be alone.  "Praise God!"    

I will never forget the love they showered on  our family that day.  Every hug touched my heart.  Later I would read their cards and the loneliness wouldn't hurt quite as much.

We laid you to rest at Lone Fir Cemetery on Saturday, January 10th at 2 in the afternoon.  When I think of our friends from Bellingham, I remember you and saying goodbye.

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